just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
