he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
