he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
