the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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