I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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