all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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