I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
