quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
