Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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