I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Houston, we have a blender
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
