We won't sleep together?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
