and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
love makes seman taste better
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
