Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
