He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
