she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
