I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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