it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize