Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
