Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
