she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
