I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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