We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
