she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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