Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
