I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
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