How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You pole danced in your parka.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
