I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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