so explain again why im purple
no
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
