we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You made out with two different species that night
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
