Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
