I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
