lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
