Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
