Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
