that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
