i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Say something about gay babies.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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