I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
