WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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