He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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