you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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