But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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