His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize