Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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