i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
