I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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