saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
