marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
