i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
