4 words: hood of his car
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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