kristin has been a bad kristin
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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