): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So here I am, sexting at work.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
