I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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