I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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