i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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