If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I smell stomach acid.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
