So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
