belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
