I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
