Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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