She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
