In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm sobbing to NWA
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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