Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
