I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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