Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
