I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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