Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
