So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
