what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
